It’s not lost on me that working with a dietitian or therapist is not always feasible. I want this blog and my private practice to be as accessible to as many people as possible, and yet I still know it’s not going to be for everyone. That’s why I really want to create or share opportunities & resources that are affordable. Because I get it — money is tight. Time is precious.
One of the biggest blog or instagram post requests I receive is on the topic of body image — the ever-elusive, nebulous idea of body image. Before I dive into a few free or inexpensive ways to improve your body image, let me say: body image is complex, ever-changing and not just about “what we look like.” Body image is subjective — it’s the narrative we have created about who we are and what we look like. It encompasses our thoughts, feelings, sensations and past experiences. Your body image has been informed by your life experiences, culture, trauma and biology.
When I work with clients on body image, our goal is not to arrive at a place of loving our bodies. Why? The biggest reason is because if you grow to love the way your body looks right now, you’ll ultimately set yourself up for disappointment because your body isn’t going to stay the same forever.
Of course I want you to accept and appreciate your body. That doesn’t mean you have to love it. (Read that again if it helps.)
Solid body image is thinking about your body less, not more.
Typically body image work progresses like this: tolerance, acceptance, appreciation, then (maybe!) love. But I rarely make love an end goal. I think appreciation serves us better in the long-term.
Okay, let’s dive into the several free or inexpensive ways to improve your body image. These mostly center around refocusing your attention, setting boundaries and talking with someone who gets it.
It’s really helpful to take a step back from the images we see in mainstream media and remember that people come in all different sizes and shapes. The more you can surround yourself with people who look different than you, the more you’ll begin to understand that (maybe) it’s okay for your body to change too.
If our goal is to think about our bodies less, it will be beneficial to stop bringing more attention to our bodies. Body checking, pinching, tugging — pay attention to situations where you feel the urge to do this. Make a note in your phone if you find yourself without a journal to write these instances down.
If you feel like you’re at square one when it comes to body image (aka you don’t even feel like you can tolerate your body size), writing a letter to your body can be really healing. Maybe you write a letter from your body to your mind, asking for what you need (acceptance, appreciation). Maybe you write a letter thanking the parts of your body for how they carry you. You don’t have to share this with anyone, but you might consider sharing with a close friend.
I mean…….this one doesn’t need much of an explanation. If you feel you are intensely preoccupied with your weight, throw out the scale. Honestly, throw it out anyway.
Another great boundary to set: leave conversations that aren’t helpful to you. You don’t need to explain or justify why a conversation isn’t serving you. You can just leave it. Pay attention to what those around you say and think about their bodies. Typically, we imitate those around us.
I sometimes hesitate to use the word “affirmation” because it sounds kind of woo to some people, but what I’m really saying is practice speaking truth to the fears or lies in your mind. Not every thought that pops into your head is meaningful or true. Cultivate the ability to discern a true thought from one that is distracting and fear-based. A few of my positive affirmations or truths are:
Movement or exercise can be really complicated in disordered eating recovery because it’s often seen as transactional (i.e. I ate this so I need to run X miles to compensate) or “should-based” (I should do X, I shouldn’t rest). But I don’t want someone to get the idea that a non-diet approach is anti-exercise or health-promoting behaviors. We can be pursuing peace with food and enjoy moving our bodies, but we might want to dig into the intention behind our movement choices. Research shows that moderate daily movement is really beneficial for our health, but what we tend to overlook is that movement they’re talking about is pretty gentle: walking, stretching, a light jog, a fun bike ride — you do not need to participate in militant bootcamps or 60 minute daily runs to be healthy. Those are okay (and can be fun!) but might not be helpful for you until you establish a healthier relationship with exercise.
A lot of the time body image concerns or struggles aren’t totally about our body size. They’re about our desire to feel loved and valued and seen. “I feel fat” typically translates to “I feel lazy or unproductive or unloved” (which enforces weight stigma). If you’re feeling a lot of body dissatisfaction, it will be useful to get curious about those emotions. What else is going on right now? What negative emotions, experiences or insecurities are you potentially projecting onto your body? Working with a professional for a while might help you dig into what’s going on.
This is not an exhaustive list by any means, but I hope it gets you thinking about the next step you could take to improve your body image.
One last note: Solid body image isn’t necessarily something we “arrive” at — it’s a continual learning process to uncover what we’re feeling and develop a more cohesive and accurate narrative of who we are and the experiences we’ve had in our body. Body image, like life, ebbs and flows. The important thing is that you cultivate an identity, purpose and life outside of your body size. Your priorities shift. You can recover from setbacks a little quicker. You can live a fuller life.
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