5 Encouragements For When You Are In the Midst Of Healing Your Relationship With Food

1. We are searching for a standard that doesn’t exist.

We want to know if we’ve made it, if we’re doing it right, if we’re on par, on schedule, on time. The truth is there is no standard for which you’re trying to measure your life. Your life — messy, unpredictable, unexpected, incredible, sorrowful, joyful and painful — is just that: yours. We keep looking over our shoulders when we should be looking right in front. That life you’re waiting for? It’s here. Breathing, fleeting. Don’t miss it.

2. If you can’t stop thinking about food, it’s a sign that you either didn’t eat enough or didn’t eat something satisfying.

Despite all the confusing/mixed messages, food is a good thing. Hunger is a biological need. It keeps us from starving (and dying). The goal of eating (at a minimum) is to abate hunger pangs and thoughts so you can pursue your activities for the day. If you can’t stop thinking about food, it’s a sign that you either didn’t eat enough or didn’t eat something satisfying.

3. For some of us it’s a novel idea that we could exercise for fun, instead of to “burn” calories.

It is truly revolutionary to move your body joyfully or to relieve stress instead of from a place of desperately wanting to change your body. Movement is actually quite fun! Sports are exciting, sweating is gratifying, trying new activities is pleasant. It’s no longer enjoyable when it’s something you feel like you should be doing or it’s going to wear you out or induce stress instead of rejuvenate you.

4. For me, hunger pangs amplify feelings of anxiety.

I realized this a few months ago when there were mornings where I drank caffeine first thing and used the metro without eating before I left. Background: Usually I would wait until I got to the office to eat but now because of this I’ve started trying to eat before I leave. Anyway, I would feel kind of hot on my face while riding or feel hunger pangs and feel really distracted by them — much more than I’d consider normal and finally realized I was actually quite hungry. Eating even something small helps alleviate these feelings if there are days when I really don’t want or have time to eat a full breakfast before I leave for work.

5. The crux of the problem with diet culture: we don’t want to be healthy, we want to be skinny.

Let this sink in. It’s possible to pursue health without pursuing weight loss. Ask yourself if you truly want to improve your health or you want to change your appearance. While it’s possible your appearance can change when you change some health behaviors, it’s not guaranteed and fixating on those changes will distract you from truly improving your relationship with food and your body.