Up until college I never considered myself a “fashionable” person. I didn’t really own a lot of business or even casual clothes. I don’t know if it was because I had really poor body image and thought most of my clothes looked terrible on me or because I wore athletic clothes 80% of the time, but it was probably a combination of the two. After graduating from my dietetic internship and getting a real job, I realized I needed some “nice” clothes. So me being the impatient person I naturally am, I quickly bought lots of clothes on whatever sale I could find and didn’t put much thought into them. Plus, I was still partially holding onto my old body (or maybe wishing for an even older/unrealistic body?) and bought some clothes that were just a liiiittle too small. In the last year, I’ve really gone through my clothing, donated/sold a lot of it and invested in some new items that have really made me feel more confident when I wear them.
This has been a process and I’m still very much working on it. There have been lots of things that I’ve learned and have been helpful, so I’ll go through them one by one.
1] “Finding my style” made shopping fun again.
This feels incredibly weird to type, but honestly “finding my style” has been really helpful. I started watching a couple fashion youtubers because ya girl was at square one. I knew I wanted a “minimal” style but I also had no idea where to start or how to build an outfit. (My two favorites are Dearly Bethany and Audrey Coyne. My favorite instagrammer is @petraalexandra.)
I’ve learned about choosing a color scheme and ethical brands and how to shop secondhand more effectively. And the more I learned about fashion, the more I learned about fast fashion, which I do not want to support anymore. So being intentional became even more important because the pieces I am buying (if not secondhand) are higher in price (and take longer for me to save up for!) because they’re made by people who are receiving a livable wage.
Some of my favorite brands at the moment include everlane, able and pact (haven’t bought anything from here yet but will when I need something!). I also scored two pairs of jeans at the goodwill that I LOVE and only cost me $15 for both.
2] I learned I prefer structure to my clothes instead of clothes that hang all over my body.
This was basically trial and error. People have said to take a picture of yourself everyday to see whether or not you feel confident in your outfit. I haven’t done that but we do have a full-length mirror at work that I look at (lol). I learned that structured but straight (as opposed to skinny) pants are my preference and that v-necks/scoop necks are preferred over super tight or high neck tops. I learned that I will choose comfort over everything when it comes to my clothes and if it’s not comfortable, I’m not wearing it.
3] I let go of clothes that were too small for me.
This was mentally challenging because it’s hard to let go of clothing that used to fit or you always wanted to fit. I also think most of the clothes I got rid of never actually fit. So I learned two things: buying clothing that fits your here and now body is IMPORTANT (and saves money) and even if you do grow out of some clothes, it’s OKAY. You’re a human in a changing body.
Also, wearing clothes that fit your body are genuinely more flattering (IMO). Clothes that are too small make me hyper-focused on my body and how it changes after a meal, and I just don’t want/need to be thinking of those things.
4] Practicing compassion will always be helpful.
Since I’m still new to the idea of “slow fashion” I’m trying not to be too hard on myself if I accidentally buy something from a brand that doesn’t have great ethical standards. I’m hoping to learn more as time goes on, but it just seems confusing to me to figure out whether or not a brand is “ethical”. It sort of reminds me of food packaging that puts the label “natural” on there (which has no regulation/standard) — those packages could be natural but other foods are natural too without the explicit label. Does that make sense? I’m also practicing compassion when I have days where I don’t like how anything looks because bad body image days happen regardless of how wonderful our clothes are.
Throughout this process, I’ve invested in some higher quality items, accepted my here and now body, let go of clothes that didn’t fit, practiced compassion and allowed myself to appreciate how my body looked in an outfit I really liked. Having clothes that are cute (in my own opinion) and fit well have really changed the way I go about the day. It sounds kind of simple/silly but if I’m uncomfortable in what I’m wearing, I tend to think about it too much.
All this isn’t to say that what I’m wearing is suddenly the most important thing about me or the end-all-be-all of better body image, but it does improve my body image (along with other tools) on a daily basis. For that, I am thankful.
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