I ran my first and only marathon in January 2015. I was a sophomore in college, slowing transitioning to full recovery from disordered eating. But exercise was my crutch. During training, I had run 30+ miles weekly — 5 then 10 then 15, 17 — up to 20 miles. I had convinced myself that I “loved” running, and maybe I did for a while. But those runs were hard. They took everything out of me, required a lot of time, and often left me in physical (and mental) pain.
But that’s the point right? Push till it hurts. “Become a better version of yourself.” No pain, no gain. Until the pain costs you more than you bargained for.
The last five miles of that marathon I limped, walked, tried to jog. I was the definition of fighting through the pain. When I finished, I cried—out of relief but also because I was upset. My legs were recked and I knew it. I tried to celebrate the race, but deep down I thought—“How will I be able to run again?”
(how I really felt [top] — smiling through the pain (re: the ice pack on my hip) vs what I posted on social media that day [bottom])
What I would do differently: I probably won’t ever run another marathon (mostly because I don’t want to) but that doesn’t mean all marathon runners have disordered eating and don’t recover properly. If I ever were to run that far again (or do any other race), I would make sure my training schedule optimized my performance (and included plenty of rest days), instead of draining my mental and physical capacity. I’d also focus on listening to my body, stretching everyday (seriously) and incorporating weight-bearing exercise to prevent muscle atrophy.
What I would do differently: I’d appreciate that even though the race didn’t end perfectly (when does it ever?), I still completed it and that in of itself is huge. Then I’d remind myself to focus on and celebrate today, right now, instead of worrying about what will be. Can I get an amen?
Weeks after that race I couldn’t run. Pain shot down my leg every time I walked. It was out of the question. Fears flooded me. I ate relatively competently at this point, but I couldn’t help but wonder: if I can’t exercise, will I gain weight?
February and March I painstakingly attempted to run a few times per week. I was depressed. Even though it had become a borderline obsession, running was still a big part of me. Who am I if I’m not a runner?
After a few months, I began to run a little more, refusing to accept that I couldn’t run like I had before. But there was still pain. This went on for almost TWO YEARS. (It’s now December 2017).
In the last few months since I officially became an RD, I have delved more into Intuitive Eating and movement. I have changed a lot of my habits, began to really accepted my body as it is, and also drastically changed my movement patterns. I won’t pretend that I don’t sometimes miss running 10+ miles. But really (as of now) I just miss that idea because every time I go out to run there ain’t no way I want to run 10 miles.
For the last six months, I’ve been doing a lot more weight-training, actually working to improve my glutes/hips/hamstrings because I’m TIRED of the pain. So even though I’ve been really a stubborn and slow learner for the past two years, I am finally doing something about it. Because of that, I’ve been able to incorporate more walking with the occasional run. It’s weird, yeah, but it’s helping to repair this relationship with running I so badly damaged. For the first time in about two years, I don’t have any pain when I run. And maybe I will get to a point when I can run long distances again, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that forcing it is not going to work.
After all this — the overexercising to pushing through the pain to reevaluating why I even run to changing my exercise routine, I have learned a lot. I’ve learned that exercise is important to me—it’s fun, when I’m utilizing it instead of abusing it. It’s stress-relieving when it can fit into my day, not when I force it in. And it’s exhilarating when I meet a goal or am drenched in sweat, but that doesn’t need to happen everyday.
Maybe you can relate. Maybe you’ve overexercised in the past or felt guilt or shame for not exercising. Maybe you think if you don’t get “in the gym” your exercise doesn’t count. I don’t think that’s true and I don’t believe that’s how it’s supposed to be. Gardening, hiking, biking (outdoors!), walking our pets, exploring a city, mowing the lawn, short jog/walks, moving furniture — that’s all movement. When we honor our bodies with rest, recovery, food, and the movement it desires, we can start to appreciate it instead of micromanaging it. We can use our movement to cultivate relationships and add more meaning to our lives and the lives of those around us. So that’s where I am right now, and it’s helping me. I feel like it could help you too.
Throughout all this burnout and recovery — this whole experience leaves me with one burning question that I think I know the answer to:
38 Responses
zakup leków online Nipro Mérida farmaci raccomandato per la concezione in Italia
trouver de la drogue à vendre EMS Vista Hermosa médicaments sans consultation médicale :
à éviter ?
ст ленинградская сбербанк режим работы вакансия галополимер пермь вакансии на телефоне в полиции
подработка на лето чехов работа в ишимбае женщинам
prijs van voorgeschreven medicijnen Nepenthes Haguenau pedido
de medicamentos genéricos
смерть родственников приснилось туз черви карты любви если снится самолет который разбился
молитва о карьере сына сломанные могильные кресты сонник
бачити себе уві сні вагітною з
животом для жінок до чого це ісламський сонник молитовна цариця всіх цариць
випало волосся з коренем сонник молитва при свічках
портрет на заказ по фото цена, портрет на холсте астана бизнес жоспар идеялары, ерекше бизнес түрлері әліппені алғаш жазған кім,
әліппе авторы 2021 неліктен ғаламшарымызды
күн сәулелері күйдірмейді, күннің пайдасы қандай
начальник сго алматы, руководитель сго
рк лор клиника алматы, лор-клиника ильинского алматы
алла деген сөз жеңіл абай ударил жену написала заявление, избиение человека статья рк
Hello everyone, it’s my first visit at this site, and article is
really fruitful in support of me, keep up posting such articles or reviews.
farmaci disponibile senza ricetta: cosa sapere Medcor La Neuveville médicaments en ligne disponible 24/7
Acheter médicaments en toute confiance en France Schering Sesto San Giovanni compra de medicamentos con confianza
бір шумақ олен, өлеңдер жинағы текст қазақша би ақ жұлдыз
тобы, жұлдыздар аттары сколько
армян в казахстане, армяне внешность colocation казахстан, colocation алматы
I loved as much as you’ll receive carried out right here. The sketch is attractive, your authored material stylish. nonetheless, you command get got an nervousness over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come further formerly again since exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this hike.
I am impressed with this website , real I am a big fan .
My brother recommended I may like this web site. He was totally right. This post truly made my day. You can not imagine simply how so much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!
I’m curious to find out what blog system you happen to be using? I’m having some minor security problems with my latest site and I would like to find something more safeguarded. Do you have any recommendations?
Excellent article. I will be experiencing some of these issues as well..
Its like you learn my thoughts! You appear to understand a lot about this, like you wrote the e-book in it or something. I think that you just could do with a few p.c. to power the message home a bit, however other than that, this is excellent blog. An excellent read. I’ll definitely be back.
الاستمرار في توجيه الآخرين.|Ahoj, věřím, že je to vynikající blog. Narazil jsem na něj;
подработка в интернете без
вложений с ежедневными выплатами ищу
подработку верхняя пышма перечень
работ входящих в управлении домом сколько стоит проконопатить
дом из бревна цена работы за 1м
ливны работа дома проверенная работа в интернете на дому с ежедневной оплатой выполняющий работу на дому как называется подработка
сутки через трое
дренаж дома стоимость работы подработка в новочеркасске без опыта работы подработка в москве на 1 день выпечка хлеба дома работа
Comment réagit le corps après l’arrêt de la pilule Quels sont les
risques liés aux enzymes Quelle épilation pour aller chez le gynéco Comment perdre la voix rapidement et facilement à la maison
к чему снится давить тараканов в квартире песня их к ф
вам и не снилось сильная молитва о здравии
слушать
сонник секс со священником
заговоры на кожные
Currently it appears like Drupal is the top blogging platform available right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you’re using on your blog?
сақ мәдениетінің ескерткіші алтын киімді адам
табылған қорған, алтын адам табылған жерлер ұлттық
қолөнерді бүгінгі күні өз кәдемізге жаратып қолдана аламыз
ба, ұлттық қолөнер тәрбие көзі касымда бол каракесек скачать, қасымда бол бейбіт қорған скачать тасу сөзіне сөйлем құрау,
тұрақты сөз тіркестері мысалдар
I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was great. I don’t know who you are but definitely you are going to a famous blogger if you are not already 😉 Cheers!
Muito obrigado!}
médicaments prix abordable Medicus Limbourg Leki bez recepty w Europie
Znáte nějaké metody, které by pomohly omezit krádeže obsahu? Rozhodně bych ocenil
مرحبًا، أعتقد أن هذه مدونة ممتازة. لقد عثرت عليها بالصدفة ;
I like this weblog its a master peace ! Glad I noticed this on google .
Hi there! I could have sworn I’ve been to this site before but after reading through some of the post I realized it’s new to me. Anyhow, I’m definitely glad I found it and I’ll be book-marking and checking back often!
I view something really special in this internet site.
Its good as your other articles : D, thanks for posting. “In the spider-web of facts, many a truth is strangled.” by Paul Eldridge.
Tak Hej der til alle, det indhold, der findes på denne
Gratefully Nourished Primary Navy reflects elegance and creativity much like our best vectorization service Just as nourishment builds strength we transform your designs into flawless vectors ensuring precision and quality for any application. Let us help you create designs that stand out and resonate just like your vision.
at web, except I know I am getting familiarity all the time by reading thes pleasant posts.|Fantastic post. I will also be handling some of these problems.|Hello, I think this is a great blog. I happened onto it;) I have bookmarked it and will check it out again. The best way to change is via wealth and independence. May you prosper and never stop mentoring others.|I was overjoyed to find this website. I must express my gratitude for your time because this was an amazing read! I thoroughly enjoyed reading it, and I’ve bookmarked your blog so I can check out fresh content in the future.|Hi there! If I shared your blog with my Facebook group, would that be okay? I believe there are a lot of people who would truly value your article.|منشور رائع. سأتعامل مع بعض هذه|